My US Citizen Spouse Cheated on Me

“My US citizen spouse cheated on me.” Hi, I’m Jim Hacking, Immigration Lawyer, practicing law throughout the United States at our offices in St. Louis, San Diego, and Washington DC. This is a tricky subject now. Now what we’re talking about is situations where a US citizen, or technically, it could be a lawful permanent resident, sponsors their spouse, their foreign born spouse for a green card, and while the case is pending, the US citizen cheats on the foreign national. This is a really delicate and difficult situation. Now, if our office were the ones that filed that case, we’re going to be a little bit hamstrung in that the interests of the foreign national and the US citizen might be divergent. They might be separating. And in those situations, we usually have to withdraw as the attorney, but that’s not the point of this video.

The point of this video is what happens to the underlying case if the foreign spouse, I’m sorry, if the US citizen’s spouse has cheated. And what can make matters even more complicated is if the US citizen either gets pregnant or impregnates somebody else. Now, obviously, from an emotional standpoint, this is high drama. This is Jerry Springer stuff. This is stuff that frankly we see from time to time, because we’re dealing with people’s lives and their relationships. We actually see this more often than you would think. And when we see it, it can really cause damage to the case. Of course, our position is always, yeah, you’re our client, US citizen, yeah, you’re our client, foreign national, but really our client is about getting the case approved. Our client is an approval.

And so, this really puts a knife to the heart of getting the case approved. It’s still approvable, but generally, infidelity is not going to come up at an interview. I’ve had very few officers ask about an infidelity, but infidelity or relationships outside of the marriage can really cause problems. Not so much because the officers look down upon that, although they might for religious reasons or puritanical reasons, or just because of the predilections of the officer themselves, but also because it goes to the weight of the marriage. How much weight should we give? How valid do we think this marriage is if the US citizen is out catting around, having sex with other people, and perhaps getting pregnant?

It’s the child, the birth of the child that really brings the issue to the forefront. Infidelity itself doesn’t come up that much. There are questions oftentimes in interviews about whether the couple have ever lived separated, but I’ve never had them ask, do you have a secret boyfriend or anything like that? So, that’s really unusual. It’s really when the US citizen fathers or mothers a child that is not the child. And of course, when you go to your interview, the US citizen is going to be asked, “What children do you have anywhere in the world?” That’s usually how it’s phrased. And if you’ve had a child, sometimes they might not ask who the father is. They might just assume that it’s the father in the marriage, but it can lead to a delicate situation. Let’s just put it like that.

So, if you find yourself in a scenario where you have a pending green card case and your spouse has cheated on you, or if you’re the spouse and you want to talk to us, it’s a tricky situation. We’re happy to talk it through, but you really need to think through like, is this case even approvable anymore? Is this marriage over? What are the long term plans for the relationship? How are you going to make this better if you are planning on being together? Because obviously, we can’t lie about stuff. If an officer asks, “Are you the father of the child,” and you’re not, we have to admit that because they have to know that in making a decision on whether or not to give you a green card.

Does that mean if there’s infidelity that a green card can’t be approved? I’d say, no. I think you could still get the case approved, but it’s going to be really nuanced, really careful, really carefully explain to the officer exactly what happened. And you’re going to have to show some kind of reconciliation and forgiveness. Not fun, not fun at all. When it happens in our cases, our team gets upset because we’ve put in all this work and effort, obviously you have too, and now the whole thing just sort of blown up. So, it’s always interesting when that happens and people are complicated and lives are complicated and that’s why we do what we do and why people need us.

So, if you have questions about this, give us a call at (314) 961-8200. You can email us, info@hackinglawpractice.com. Be sure to join us in our Facebook group, which is called Immigrant Home. If you like this video, we ask that you please share that on social, that you subscribe to our YouTube channel, and that you join us on Tuesdays and Thursdays, most days at noon central, where I’ll try to answer as many of your immigration law related questions as possible. Thanks a lot and have a great day.